Storytime with Rob: Costa Rica Edition, Chapter 4

Day 3 was coming to a close, with me now in the the American Consulate in San Jose.

Before arriving, I had researched my options and knew that under the circumstances, I could get a free temporary passport to get me back home. I entered the Consulate office, filled out a form, and proceedws to a cashier, who promptly requested $60. For those of you just joining us, that was $58 more than I had access to. I explained my situation, and was met with some resistance. "Where is the consulate officer?" I asked, firmly. Tangentially, years earlier I had applied to the State Dept to work as a Foreign Service Officer, so I was somewhat familiar with roles and responsibilities there.
I was directed to the next window. I handed the man my documents.
"Mt. Pleasant, Iowa, huh?" He asked.
"Yeah…" I responded, curious what was coming.
"I'm from Kirksville Missouri. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of ya"
The stress that had accumulated over three days of worrying over my situation was instantly dispelled. I’d managed to find someone like me, and he promised to help. I breathed a sigh of relief. I would have hugged him if not for the 3 ft of counter (and bulletproof glass) between us. My next stop was a photo kiosk in the courtyard for my passport photo.
The photographer snapped a photo, and asked for $2.

I hesitated, since this was all I had. I started to explain, but mid sentence, decided "fuck it", and gave her the last of my remaining money. After all, I didn’t want her chasing me through Monteverde on her bike. If you need help with that reference, try the video above from Savage Steve Holland’s 1985 classic, Better Off Dead.

I walked out a short time later, triumphantly, passport in hand. Mariana was waiting for me. I suspect that the hug I gave her felt something like you’d receive after rescuing a shipwrecked sailor or pulling someone out of a chasm. For the first time in 3 days, I believed that everything was going to be alright. She filled up my car for me. It was full service, so I stayed in my car. Once they finished, I started to drive off. Two men chased after me waving their arms wildly. The nozzle was still in my tank. I took a deep breath and finished the drive to Monteverde. I’ve heard someone say (maybe it was Elon Musk?) nobody thinks straight when they’re being chased by a bear, and my body was convinced that was still the case. I’d have a couple more incidents like this, because it would take several more days until my cortisol levels returned to normal and I could think straight again.

The rest of the vacation happened without incident. I enjoyed the natural, lush beauty of Monteverde, where I never did see a sloth, but when some people spotted one up in the trees, I pretended I did.

I returned home with about 6 hours before my flight to San Diego for the hiring conference I’d been invited to the night I lost all my gear. I unpacked, repacked, grabbed my new credit card from the mail (shout out to USAA) and headed to the Verizon store, where I waited outside for them to open so I could purchase a replacement phone before heading to the airport just in time to catch my next flight, which I nearly missed after being delayed for 10 min by 6 TSA agents who each inspected my temporary passport while exchanging incredulous expressions and remarking on how they’d “never seen anything like this” before.

During my short layover in Denver, I tried to relax over dinner and a beer. I'd been running on adrenaline for 4 days, and hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since. I heard the final boarding call for my flight to San Diego. I jolted upright in my seat, looked at my boarding pass and realized I'd mixed up the boarding time and the departure time, thinking I had 30 more min that I did. I sprinted towards the gate. I was about 50 ft away when they closed the door, while I shouted “WAIT!!”. The agent explained in a remarkable tone that conveyed both absolute authority and utter powerlessness, that once the door was closed, the magic seal of Homeland Security could not be dispelled, without a special amulet that unfortunately neither of us possessed.

The same agent also informed me, there were no more flights from Denver to San Diego that evening, so I’d have to spend the night. My first job interview started at 8 AM, I explained, so this was not an option. I asked to be booked on a flight into LA, and reserved a rental car on my laptop while I waited for the flight. Whew. Yet another challenge (of my own design) unscrambled. I waited for my next flight, congratulating myself for my resourcefulness, so I would not instead reflect on what was another abysmal failure.

While I waited, it occurred to me: "How are you going to pick up a rental car, without a driver's license, Rob?". You may recall from Chapter 2, that had been stolen as well. I had no time to visit the DMV that morning. I called my childhood friend Jon, who lived in Irvine.
“Irvine is pretty close to LAX,” I thought (It's not at all). He knew my predicament and didn't hesitate.
"You got it. What time do you get in?" he asked.
I grimaced and informed him it was about midnight, and he didn’t flinch.
Ok, no problem. I'll rent the car, and meet you curbside.”
He pulled up to the terminal, we smiled, hugged and reflected on my misadventure before parting ways while I left for San Diego, and he returned home.

Jon had work the next morning, but drove about 90 min each way to bail me out. I didn’t realize how far it was until much later, because he never let on. I’d see Jon a few more times after that night, but never expected the last time would be this February (2020) when I’d fly into the same airport to visit him in the ICU and say goodbye as he succumbed to what we suspect were complications from Covid 19 which he contracted on a business trip.

I arrived at my friends’ in San Diego around 2 am, slept a few hours and arrived at the Embassy Suites at 7am for 3 interviews that day. My first interview was with a medical device company. The last question he asked me was "What's a time when you had to overcome adversity?"
I chuckled, and asked him "how much time do we have?"